Dead to Me

Of all 500,000 people I've met in my life I've told someone they were "dead to me" three times. Once, to an unnamed person who I believed deserved it at the time. WE have repaired that relationship, and I'm glad to say that they are one of the most important people in my life. Another, was an old roommate. I'm sure we all know who that was...and what makes this whole situation even better is that the third person I've said this about...is her best friend.

You'd think I would learn by now. Apparently though, behind my bitchy facade, I was too soft-hearted and believed this time would be different. After going through TWO other female roommates, I was convinced that I was 100% the problem. I was too controlling, too bitchy, too outspoken, too rude, too uncaring, too unkind, I could go on for days. These are the things I have been told about myself. I've been told that I am a terrible roommate and cannot live with girls. For the record, I probably can't live with girls...I am entirely too possessive.

As I've said before though, I have 101 reasons why I do the things I do. I lived with parents who were rarely happy - they were always fighting. When they finally decided to get a divorce, it was not a clean break. My father lost his business, my mom lost our house. We were homeless for a while - living with my grandparents and aunt. When we finally got a house, we had lost our car. It was one thing after another. I don't think I've ever just had a happy home. I am so possessive of my home because I'm trying to make a happy home for myself .Just because YOU grew up in a wonderful household, that doesn't mean that everyone else did. People should really not take that for granted, because quiet honestly, I've overcome and learned how to live with a lot of things that I had to grow up with. I've been through more hell than some people will ever think about going through, but did you know that? No, because I'm doing my best in life to overcome these obstacles and make the best of the time in life that I have left.

I've lived through this stage of life that this blog post's subject is going through now. You've been out of your parents' house for a total of what, 6 months? Honey, when I had been moved out for 6 months, I didn't know shit. I didn't know how to pay bills, budget my money, think about the future - but I thought I did. You've been out of high school for like, a year and a half. You don't know shit. Please, step aside and let the grown ups handle their business.

I moved in with Kaleb and another roommate exactly 2 years ago - and this was after living in a dorm on VSU's campus for a year, living with my grandparents for a short while, and moving to Washington and living there for a while with my dad. 5 months after moving back from Washington is when I moved in with Kaleb and his friend. At that point, we were the only ones living there - it was a balanced, respectful environment. As time went on, a girl started hanging out at the apartment and when looking for a new apartment for the next year's lease, we decided to have her move in. About 2 weeks before we actually moved in together, I realized it was the worst decision EVER. She was rude, controlling, disrespectful of me, my house, my property, my pet, everything. We tried to make amends, but after a huge feud, her moving out 6 months after moving in, and then a fake makeup, things never got better. We don't talk to this day.

After she left, another one of our roommate's friends moved in to her old room. He's great.

Back to mine and Kaleb's original roommate...
He ended up breaking up with his long term girlfriend and began dating other girls, a few actually moved in, but then quickly moved out. One of his ex girlfriends was someone I would never associate myself with, and when things went downhill with her, she left. Another girlfriend moved in. She is the third person I've determined to be "dead to me". So, after living with the same people for a year and a half, she comes into MY house, begins attempting to control things, move things, change rules, push me out of the way. Bitch, this is MY house. Don't think this is the part of the story where she left though, because things only got worse. Honestly, things with her were the easiest for the longest amount of time, but as soon as it got blown out of proportion, everything was over.

How would you react if someone came into your home, began moving your personal property all around the house because they didn't like where you had it? If anyone knows me, you know exactly how anal I am and how OCD I am. You would know how precise I am with my food and exercise. One day I open the fridge to get some of my food out - and everything had been rearranged.

My folded up blankets on the shelf in the living room were strewn across the couches when I woke up in the morning. Drinks all over the table. Trash on the floor. Shoes all over the foyer. (LITERALLY, EVERYWHERE, like 7 or 8 pairs of shoes in a 3x3 ft area. Nasty, restaurant non-slip, greasy shoes) My vacuum would be used and not emptied. My laundry and cleaning materials would be used and rarely replaced. My food would be eaten. And I was the only person who would get up in the morning and clean up after all 5 people living in the house.

I was sitting at home on my ONLY DAY OFF this week (because I go to school and work). I had all the lights turned off and was watching American Horror Story. As soon as [blog post's subject] walks in, she turns on two lights, and then took the dog outside. I got up, turned both lights off. She walks back in, turns on another light (this one being the lamp right next to me). I let her do what she had to do, and when she was done I got up and turned the light back off. She said "Um, can you turn the light back on?" I said, "No, I want the light off". She said, "Well, I'm going to turn it back on for a minute" (in a very rude manner). I paused my show and waited on her to turn it back off. She sat there completely in silence for about 2 minutes before she got up and walked out of the room (walking directly by the light without turning it back off). I said, "You could at least turn the light off". She ignored me.

Now, if I had done this, she would have told her boyfriend, who would have then in turn, told my boyfriend to tell me to stop being such a bitch. DRAMATIC, right? All she had to do was respect the fact that I wanted to watch tv in MY living room on my ONLY night off. (Yes, I keep emphasizing this. It's because she went from working like 4-5 days a week when she first started staying here, to working NEVER. Seriously, she paid someone $20 to work her only shift last week. LOL Like I said, you don't know shit. You seriously depend on your boyfriend to pay all your bills and for all your clothes and food. Good luck with that, because I can tell you exactly how that worked out with his last girlfriend...) So, my point is - this was probably one of the dumbest things I could have ever gotten mad about, but I just want some respect. This is my house, and I will do what I please (when it doesn't affect anyone else) without a word from you, you snotty, rude, disrespectful, unladylike bitch. You are dead to me.