I literally have one of the worst senses of humor in the entire world. Things that should be funny - I don't understand. Things that are inappropriate are frieken hilarious to me. Things that most people don't find funny at all, I will laugh about for 20 minutes.
If I ever say something to you and walk away laughing, just go with it.
Also, why do people have to be such bitchbags. I mean seriously? When you go out to eat, WAIT UNTIL THEY CALL YOU. Don't stand right beside the host and ask how much longer. I LITERALLY had a party tonight stand right behind me, and watched every move I made. I had 3 tables cleared off that I was about to seat with smaller parties, and before I got the chance, these douchebags made sure to ask me about 20 times why I couldn't seat them there. ITS NOT YOUR FRIEKING TURN. Go away. I had a mini meltdown because they wouldn't get off my dick. I accidentally sat them at a table I was saving for a 20 person party. We got them to move though.
Seriously, just leave people the hell alone. We don't forget about you, its just not your frieking turn.
There was another party tonight: a family of four. I gave them the choice between a high top in the bar and a booth. They said they didn't want the high top because there would be too much traffic, so I took them to the booth. About a minute and a half later, they walk out because there was too much traffic walking by their table. Well HELLO...you just waited FORTY-FIVE minutes for a table because it was so busy. Did you just think that when you sat down all of a sudden we were going to lose all of our business and the world would revolve around you? Geez. I really don't hate all of our customers...but they do NOT make our lives easy. Don't go out to eat on a Saturday night if you don't want to deal with the wait or the busyness. (I don't know if that's a word, but it is now.)
Please just stay home if you can't go out in public without being a complete asshole.